Good morning!

Ethan and Zach get up every morning as if it's their first day of school. Ever.
EVERY, SINGLE day this is what happens:me: "Boys, get up."
5 minutes pass...........
Me: "Boys, are you up?"
"YES."
"What are you doing?"
(mumble, mumble)
"Get dressed and brush your teeth, then come down and eat."
10 minutes later, Ethan comes down in his underwear. (*Luke, Grace and Noah are already eating breakfast, dressed, teeth brushed, shoes on and tied....)
"Where are your clothes?"
"I wanted to get my shoes." (WTF???)
"Ethan, did you brush your teeth?"
"Oh, no I forgot. Hey, mom? Can I wear my baseball jersey?""Go back upstairs, get dressed and brush your teeth. You can't wear your jersey!! You just had a game last night! It's filthy!! You can put your shoes on last. Zach, what are you doing?"
"Getting dressed."
-->Ethan, meanwhile "Mom, can I watch Sportscenter just for a minute to see the scores when I come back down?
"Zach - brush your teeth before you come down. Ethan - if you have time. You still have to eat and get dressed."
5 minutes later, Zach comes down in a tank top and underwear, carrying some pants that MAY belong to Sam.
"Why aren't you dressed?"
"I can't un-button my pants."
" Zach those aren't your pants. You can't wear a tank top, it's too chilly. Put on a white t-shirt under the tank top, find some of your own pants and did you brush?"
"What?" (what is this you say: "toothbrushing"? I know nothing of the brushing the teeth?")
"Did you brush your teeth???"
"No, I forgot.""Go back upstairs, brush your teeth, put on a tshirt, get some pants out of your drawer and come eat. You're going to miss the bus.""OK!!" Then he acts all crazy, fake rushing upstairs like a brat.
"Mom!!!!""Yes, Ethan."
"Do you have any pants for me?"
"Ethan, you have a million pairs - you just took them up yesterday. Find some pants, brush your teeth and come eat. You're going to miss the bus."
"Can you take us?""NO!!! Get ready, Ethan."
Zach and Ethan come down, 9 times out of 10 at least one of them has not brushed his teeth, and Ethan will say "Can I just use your toothbrush and do it down here?" Usually Zach's pants aren't buttoned - because they are Lukes - and his shirt is on backwards or inside out and Ethan has on some crazy outfit (because OSU shirts match EVERYTHING). Then they stand in front of the pantry staring at the shelves, trying to use mind power to make a hot pizza appear for breakfast.
"Did you eat yet?""You don't have anything I like.""There are fruit bars, there's fruit, yog -
"I don't like yogurt."
"Ethan does.""I DON'T WANT YOGURT!!! GOSH, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"THERE ARE A THOUSAND THINGS IN THERE THAT YOU LIKE! ZACH YOU CAN NOT JUST EAT A TWIZZLER FOR BREAKFAST. PICK SOMETHING. YOU ARE GOING TO MISS THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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"You don't have to scream at us."
"Ok, just EAT. "
"Did you sign my agenda?"
"Yes, Ethan. Zach, get a snack while you're in there." (*meanwhile, Ethan doesn't believe that I signed, so he is in the foyer, BAREFOOT, rummaging through his bag to check his agenda.)
"I'm not hungry.""ZACH! You are going to be at snack time. Get something."
"Can I take the rest of the enchiladas?""No Zach! you know you can't! Now. pick. something."
"Mom, can you help me with my homework?""ETHAN ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? I TOLD YOU BEFORE YOUR GAME YOU HAD TO HAVE YOUR HOMEWORK DONE? WHAT IS IT?"
"GOSH, JUST FORGET IT!!!! I'LL DO IT ON THE BUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (mumbling: you never help me. you just read with the quads and you said you would help with my homework now I have to do it on the bus I thought you were going to play catch with me but you never have time and I don't get to play catch with anybody and you said I could watch sportscenter to see the scores and now I can't and you promised you were going to help me)
"Let me see the paper.""Never mind, oh!! I finished it at school. I forgot. What can I get for breakfast? Did you make anything? (as if) Do you have any socks? Oh, and Mom?"
"yes Ethan?"
"Did you know that A-Rod has already hit 52 home runs this year? He is way better than Grady Sizemore, I don't even know why you like him....."
Zach is still standing in front of the pantry pretending it is the door to McDonalds.
"Zach."
"Hmmmm?"
"Zach, did you get something?"
"Yes."
"What did you have?""I had an uncrustable."
"ZACH!!! No, you didn't! You haven't moved."
"OK!! I'll make one."
"The bus is going to be here in 5 minutes. Take this granola bar and eat it outside."
"Ok. Do you have any socks? I can't find my other shoe, either."
Meanwhile....
Ethan: "WHAT???? 5 MINUTES?? AHHHHHH!! I'M NOT READY, WHERE ARE MY SHOES, WHERE IS MY FOOTBALL, CAN I TAKE IT? CAN I USE YOUR TOOTHBRUSH? JUST FORGET IT, DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM? MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! I DON'T HAVE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU TURN ON SPORTSCENTER WHILE I PUT MY SHOES ON?? CAN'T YOU TAKE US???????? OH NO, I FORGOT TO EAT BREAKFAST!!!!!!!!!!!"
Then I beat my head against the wall for 20 minutes.